…..Top five regrets of the dying
By Kwedu News
Life is a journey, it has its ups and downs creating memories each step of the way. After all is done, or when one knows the end is near and looks back at how far they have come, what is it exactly that most people wish they could have done differently?
Well, what if we take a glimpse at the most common things ‘the dying’ wish they could have done differently through the lances of an Australian care-worker, or nurse, Bronnie Ware, who has years of experience tending to those about to die; and the lessons that we can take from her experience and reveal.
Through her online blog post titled ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying’ which has so far gained millions of view across the globe, hitting three million in its first year, Bronnie Ware shares her personal story where after years of unfulfilling work, she began searching for a job with meaning and finally found herself in palliative care.
She worked with dying people for eight years of her career, during which time she listened to many of the reflections of her patients in the final three to 12 weeks of their lives.
“The Australian healthcare professional was so moved by what she heard that she began recording their insightful thoughts in her blog, “Inspiration and Chai”.
“These posts in turn touched many people across the world looking for meaning in their own lives, and Ware went on to publish her bestselling memoir “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing,” one online publication says about Ware.
Bellow are the top five most common regrets of the dying through her eyes, adding a little advise from lessons she has learnt:
1) “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”
According to Bronnie, this one was “the most common regret of all”, and made her realise that “health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
With this in mind, Bronnie has urged people to try and follow at least some of their personal dreams, before it’s too late.
2) “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard”
Bronnie revealed that she heard this particular regret with every single male patient she cared for, given that many were from older generations, while many women also expressed similar sentiments. This particular revelation made Bronnie realise the importance of “making conscious choices” and “creating more space in your life”, allowing for greater overall happiness.
3) “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings”.
Bronnie observed that, by suppressing their true feelings to “keep peace with others”, many people ended up settling for “a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming”.
The resulting frustration even had a physical effect, leading them to develop illnesses connected to the deep-seated “bitterness” they felt.
4) “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends”.
All too often in adulthood, we’ll find ourselves drifting away from close friends, as the hectic pace of life takes hold.
Sadly, Bronnie noticed that many of her patients only realised the importance of old friends in their final weeks, by which point it wasn’t always possible to make contact.
She reflected: “It all comes down to love and relationships in the end.
That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.”
5) “I wish that I had let myself be happier”
Bronnie was surprised by how common it was for people not to realise that happiness was a choice until the very end, having remained “stuck in old patterns and habits” throughout their lives. She added: “When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is ‘your’ life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”
The main purpose of Ware’s memoir is
to apply lessons learned from those about to
die to our own life.
Ware’s life was
transformed during her time doing palliative care which inspired her to write on the internet blog on ‘the most common regrets that the people she had cared for had expressed to her.
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